


Yu Narukami VS the Universe

by blebleble



Category: Persona 3, Persona 4, Persona Q: Shadow of the Labyrinth
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, idk its not really shippy its just dumb humor mostly, p4 protag vs p3 social links
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 16:31:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3857410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blebleble/pseuds/blebleble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yu Narukami must prove his worthiness to Makoto's exes. By fighting them. The first few girls were easy enough, but then...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yu Narukami VS the Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I haven't written fanfiction in years and I have literally never written shippy fanfiction but this just kept bugging me so I'm writing it in a mad alcohol fueled rush and I hope it's funny. 
> 
> Set in the universe where Persona 3 got the Best Possible Ending. All social links are maxed, FeMC is here (I'll be using Kotone), Shinji's alive. They are all in college or training or something now. PQ happened but nobody remembers. P4Arena haven't happened yet but because protags are dating they all kind of know each other.
> 
> Protagship. Yeah.

Yu Narukami has fought many strange things before - demonic babies with flowers sprouting out of their heads, walking DNA strands, sentient tanks, Hulk Hogan, Japanese creation goddess – but he would've never imagined he would be challenged to a duel in broad daylight by a regular, human girl. In a bookstore, no less.

The fact that the subject of the fight, his boyfriend, _who should be on his side_ , was actually cheering on his opponent did not help matters.

“You can do it Chihiro, you don't have to be afraid of him. Look, just go for his neck, that's his weak spot. That's why he's got those ridiculous popped collars you see – ”

“W-wait a moment! I can't fight you, can't we talk this over?” Yu protested. He did not want to fight someone who he has no reason to. The last thing he wanted to do was see someone get hurt, least of all this fragile looking girl in professional looking suit and heels who he just learned was named Chihiro. She clearly thinks otherwise.

“No! I need to make sure you know the responsibilities and duties of dating my ex-boyfriend! Prepare yourself!”

Chihiro flew at him with surprising ferocity.

–

Thankfully, the fight was short. Chihiro ceded defeat, made plans to meet up with them for tea at a future date, helped the old couple who owned the bookstore clean up the mess they created during the fight, paid for her shoujo manga, and left. Left Yu very confused about the whole encounter.

“I'll take it you're confused,” Makoto said, barely hiding his amusement as they exited the bookstore and making a beeline for the takoyaki stand. Yu stared, opened his mouth, closed it, opened and closed it again before finally deciding on which questions to ask.

“She was your ex-girlfriend?”

“Yeah. We worked together in student council in high school. She was so shy back then, it's nice to see her so confident now,” Makoto nudged a paper tray of takoyaki in his hands, “here.”

Yu took a skewer with takoyaki, still confused, “Is she not over you?” he decided to ask. Makoto shrugged.

“Nah, she's fine.”

“Why does she want to fight me?”

“It was a joke we had. While we were dating, she was willing to fight the student council president. She said she would defend herself and her friends no matter what it takes,” Makoto paused, swallowing a mouthful of takoyaki, “I think she's a lawyer now.”

-

Yu had thought the first time was a freak occurrence. He was not expecting it to happen again, least of all after a suspicious phone call from Chie asking him to “come to the police academy right away, there's somebody here who wants to see you – oh and if you can bring some beefbowls that would be the best”. But once again, one of his boyfriend's exes was challenging him to fight.

“I literally just met you, can't we talk a bit first before we fight?” Yu pleaded ineffectively.

“Kick his ass, Yuko-senpai!” Chie cheered from the sidelines, digging into the beefbowl that Yu brought. Yu felt a tiny twinge of betrayal.

“Show him what you got Yuko,” Akihiko added, digging into his own beefbowl, also supplied by Yu “ remember what I taught you about your swing.”

“We're in a police station,” Yu said, hoping they would come to their senses and realize how ridiculous the situation is.

“Yu Narukami,” the girl he presumed was called Yuko said, advancing on him, “are you or are you not currently dating Makoto Yuki?”

“I - Yes, but look, we don't have to fight, I - ”

“N'aw come on, I'm all warmed up and ready to go. Just think of it as some training.”

Yu barely dodged Yuko's fist. Akihiko whooped from behind him.

–

Yuko was surprisingly strong, but Yu managed to defeat her.

“Sorry if I came on too strongly,” Yuko apologized good-naturedly, “I'm used to dealing with dumb jocks, and sometimes it's the only way to talk to them so they'll listen. Here, a drink. I made it myself, I'll bet you're tired, it'll replenish your energy right up. My thanks for the fight”

“But why,” Yu asked, accepting the drink. It didn't seem to be poisoned. He was glad it wasn't Muscle Drink.

“Didn't Makoto tell you? His exes has agreement to fight whoever he dates next. We figured there's so many of us we'd just form a group,” Yuko laughed.

“Why,” he was still confused.

“We're not serious, of course. There's not actually that many of us, I just thought it'd be a nice excuse for some exercise. I spend all my time training these these police trainees that I rarely get much action myself. Tell you what, next meal's on me. Wakatsu's great, have you been? We should all go together, I'm sick of the boxed lunches they feed us here at the academy,”

“How did you find out? Actually, never mind.” Yu glared at Chie and Akihiko. They were still eating the beefbowls that he had supplied, gleefully talking about the finer points of the fight that just happened.

–

“I met Yuko,” Yu told Makoto as soon as he got back to their shared apartment.

“Oh? How is she?”

“Fine. Better than fine,” a pause, “she has a pretty nasty right hook.”

“Sorry about that. She was my sports team manager, she's pretty tough. Are you okay?”

“Makoto,” Yu paused thinking of how to phrase the question, “why didn't you tell me about your exes wanting to fight me earlier?”

Makoto tried to look apologetic, but Yu could tell he was amused.

“I thought they were joking,” he said, “plus, there would be no way someone could actually fight them all.”

“There's that many?” Yu asked, alarmed.

“It's not how many there are,” Makoto mumbled, “it's... nevermind. I'm sure the rest wont try to fight you. Try not to think about it”

Yu figured Makoto knew his own exes better than he did, so he tried not to think about it and accepted the ice pack for his bruised knee.

-

Makoto was a goddamned liar.

He knew Fuuka. Fuuka was the most fragile, pale looking girl he knew. But he hadn't taken into consideration that she was a tech genius and a persona user. With no weaknesses and completely enclosed in her persona, she was neigh untouchable.

And she was one of Makoto's exes who wants to fight.

Luckily she was considerate enough to not cause a public disturbance, instead taking their fight into the TV world. Their fight ended up about a test of endurance, as Fuuka's persona had no offensive abilities and none of them wanted the other party to sustain serious injuries. Still, Yu was caught off guard when she used the skill Oracle, completely depleting his energy. Luckily he had Rise with him, watching for spare wandering shadows and was kind enough to toss him some energy drinks.

In the end, Fuuka ceded defeat, said she needed to get back to her work, and left with promise of meeting up for a sci-fi movie marathon at the theatre later.

-  
Neither Rise nor Chie was the most secretive of people, and so it was only a matter of time before the whole group knew he was the target of a strange group of people known as Makoto's Exes (Yu wondered how they ever managed to keep the whole Television World a secret). Yosuke thought it was awesome and sobbed that he was happy there were still excitement and things to look forward to in their life. Yukiko laughed at him for a week. Teddie was excited at the aspect of meeting more girls, even if they were committed to beating his sensei to a pulp. For all their terrible talents at subtlety, at least they had the sense to keep the news under the radar for Nanako, who in Yu's opinion will always be too young to know about the finer points dating.

That is, until she visited him in the city. Yu took her to the live action Featherman stageplay charity event, and immediately regretted it. Because during the climax when the Feathermen always picked a member of the audience to participate as the villain, Feather Pink pointed her bow directly at him. He could swear he could see her intense stare piercing through her pink helmet. He had suspected she had been eyeing him the whole performance, but now he was sure.

“Be gone, foul villain, and may the arrow of justice pierce through your darkened heart, and may you release the prisoner you have kept captive!” Feather Pink flourished her bow, drawing back an arrow.

“I haven't done anything -” he protested. He looked over at Makoto standing beside him, and was surprised to see him giggling softly.

“Big bro, are you a villain?” Nanako asked, tugging on his shirt “The Featherman Rangers are always the good guys, does that make you a bad guy?”

That did it. Yu was going to destroy Feather Pink for making Nanako think badly of him. Feather Pink certainly wasn't holding back, unleashing a volley of arrows in his direction. The bow didn't look like a mere prop either. It certainly didn't feel like one, when she brought it down on his head, yelling “FEATHER SMASH!”  
–

He managed to defeat Feather Pink, but barely. Still, he had to fake a defeat on stage for the children in the audience who needed the Featherman Rangers to win. The actress playing Feather Pink was actually quite amiable once the show was over and she got out of character. She commended him on his improvisation of a golf club as a weapon, and he commended her on her skills in archery. If the arrows weren't rubber tipped, he was certain he would be dead, or at least severely injured.

“I thought you said your exes weren't going to attack me anymore,” Yu said.

“Yukari was on tour, I didn't think she'd be able to,” Makoto explained, and then turning to Yukari who was the actress playing Feather Pink and another one of Makoto's exes, “how are things?”

“I'm still not totally used to acting yet, but I'm getting the hang of it. The kids are always happy to see me, so that's always rewarding,” she smiled, then sighed, “It's busy though. And I wish Mitsuru would make more time for me. I mean I'm only going to be here for a week before we have to do a show in Chiba, but I guess it's only natural she's busy...” she turned to Yu, “Sorry if I went a little overboard, I got a little too into character and the opportunity was too good to pass up. You really did put up a great show.”

“The pleasure was mine.”

It was then Nanako, who had been staring at Yukari with a mixture of awe and admiration, finally spoke up.

“You're the real Feather Pink! The exact one on TV!”

Yu looked back at Yukari. Nanako's right. He had been so busy fighting Makoto's exes recently, that he haven't had much time to watch Featherman. But anyone could tell that Yukari was not just some stage actor, but the actual Feather Pink that was on nearly every TV channel. He gaped.

“Are you a Defender of Justice as well?” Yukari leaned down to talk to Nanako, “You're so cute!”

In the end, Yukari gave Nanako an autographed Featherman watch and bantered with Makoto about their old friends, while Yu silently had an existential crisis about his boyfriend having dated a nationally famous actress.  
–

“I need to know if any more of your exes wants to fight me,” Yu said matter-of-factly over breakfast, placing a heaping pile of pancakes on the table hoping the offering of food and coffee will make his boyfriend more open to divulging information.

“Mmmm... you heard Yukari last night, Mitsuru's too busy to fight you, I don't think she will...” Makoto wasn't a morning person. His eyes were barely open and seemed to be concentrating all his efforts into sipping his coffee.

“And you said Yukari was on tour but she found me anyway,”

“That was fun, too bad Ken couldn't make it.”

“I could've died!”

“Don't be dramatic, I took care of you afterwards,” Makoto raised one visible eyebrow at him over his mug, “you had maybe one scratch from when you tried to twirl the golf club like a baton.”

“I'd just like to have a warning before anybody tries to attack me. Also Yukari hit me on the head with her bow.”

“Mmhm. I'll send a mass text to tell them to warn you,” he leaned over the table to kiss him on the cheek, “is that better?”

“At least tell me how many are left,”

“Four, strictly speaking. I really don't think they're going to fight you.”

“Chihiro, Yuko, Fuuka, Yukari... I've fought four so far, and there's four more... that makes it a total of eight. Is that right?”

Yu was met with silence. Makoto had fallen back asleep, face planted in the soft pile of pancakes.

–

Yu figured he wasn't going to get much more information out of Makoto (he suspects Makoto is actually enjoying himself watching all the chaos), so he sought help from the next best thing. The detective genius herself, Naoto Shirogane, and Makoto's sister, Kotone.

“You want to know who my brother dated?” Kotone repeated, eyes wide, “well as far as I know he went out with Chihiro first, then Yuko...”

“I know he dated Chihiro, Yuko, Fuuka and Yukari,” he said, “I need to know who's left,”

“Well it sounds like they're going in order,” Kotone mused, tapping her spoon against her cappucino cup, “Lemme think... who's after Yukari...”

“I don't see how warrants my skills,” Naoto said, “unless you want me to arrest them for harassment or something...”

“I need you to help me research their habits so I know where to not go if I want to avoid conflict,” Yu explained, “and maybe dig up some background so I could have a slight advantage in battle... if it comes to that.”

Naoto shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “I feel like this is rather invasive...”

“Oh don't worry about it Naoto,” Kotone gestured flippantly. “My brother's exes' are... weird. I doubt you'll be able to find out anything about them actually... Oh except...” Kotone's expression suddenly changed.

Yu leaned forward, “Yes?”

“If they're indeed going in order, then the next one will be Mitsuru-senpai,” Kotone said, then in a hushed whisper, “she's going to _execute you...”_

Yu turned pale.

“Mitsuru... could this Mitsuru you're talking about be Mitsuru Kirijo, heiress and leader of the multi-billion dollar Kirijo Group?” Naoto asked, suddenly interested.

“Yeah, she was our senpai. She's super scary when she's angry. Once, in Kyoto...”

Yu was too young and healthy to be having heart attacks, but he was pretty sure he had one there.

–

Yu's anxieties was not eased when he received a text in the middle of the night. Half blinded by the phone screen displaying “R U AWAKE ANSWER IMMEDIATELY Y/N?”, he gave up on texting after a few failed tries and decided to just call.

“Hello?”

“This is Naoto. Listen, usually information on the cases I take are purely confidential but I believe this case pertains to you and it is in my interests that your continued survival -”

“Naoto what are you talking about?”

“Mitsuru Kirijo, I had an assignment to investigate a special division of the Police Force called the Shadow Operatives, and it looks like not only Mitsuru Kirijo the head of the Kirijo Group, but she is also head of the Shadow Operatives. She is extensively trained in combat, fencing, firearms usage. People call her the “Imperious Queen of Executions”. Judging by her job it is my opinion she would be too busy to try to do some asinine thing like try to fight you, but we can't rule out that possibility. I would just like to warn you so you're better prepared in case the situation comes up – senpai are you okay?”

Yu now knows how Yosuke feels the first time he was in the TV world. He really needed to pee.

–

Yu really didn't want to run into the _Queen of Executions_ by chance, but he supposed he was lucky to run into her in the TV world as opposed to anywhere else. He probably should've figured she was a persona user as well, most of Makoto's friends seems to be, but there were some that weren't and he could never be too sure. It just sucked that this new dungeon was forcing them to fight, for she also wasn't too keen on the idea herself. Yu was glad they were in the TV world and could battle with personas, as he wasn't sure he would've survived her onslaught had they stuck with just meele weapons. Mitsuru certainly lived up to her name, she was the hardest ex he had to fight so far. Yu wondered if they were leveling up.

“We are searching for some cargo that was stolen,” she explained, “we have reasons to suspect the culprit threw it in here. But I guess my search ends here, this invisible barrier is preventing me from proceeding. Be careful, there is somebody in here manipulating our minds, perceiving the opponent's speech to be cruel until the fight is over.”

“I thought that might be the case. I will help you,” Yu nodded.

“Thank you. I will try to keep in contact with you as well as Akihiko and Aigis, and update you on anything new that comes up. It's my persona's ability.”

“That would be great, thanks.”

“I just ask for you to please not be alarmed by their appearance. They're... not typical...”

Yu thought that was something that shouldn't be said by somebody wearing a battle suit and pure white fur coat, but he didn't comment, just nodded.

“Is Makoto with you?” Mitsuru asked.

“Er, not currently, he's on a week trip with Kotone to visit their friend in France,” Yu said.

“So that's why I couldn't contact them. Alright, I can wait till they comes back. If you see them before I do, please tell them I have some news.”

In the end, the cargo Mitsuru was talking about happened to be a battle robot named Labrys. Aigis, the other partner Mitsuru mentioned, also happened to be a battle robot. Yu vowed to never take his friends' relative normalcy for granted ever again.

–

And he was certainly not expecting Makoto to have dated an _Anti-Shadow-Suppresion Weapon_. Aigis, upon hearing Yu was currently dating Makoto, challenged him and went immediately into Orgia mode.

“Aigis calm down, this is not the time for this,” Mitsuru called as Aigis focused all her firearms (which included two grenade launchers, a gattling gun, and a rocket launcher in addition to her finger revolvers) on Yu.

“No Mitsuru-san, this is the perfect opportunity,” Aigis said in her stilted speech, but Yu could detect a hint of amusement, “I must find out if this person is worthy of Makoto-san. His safety and well-being is important to me, and I must test to see if this person is the optimal being to provide it. Firing all weapons!”

“Did Makoto date every girl on the group or something?” Yu cried as he ran from the barrage of Aigis' bullets.

“Aigis, he's a good guy, don't kill him!” Yu could hear Fuuka calling through the mind link.

“Do not worry Fuuka-san, I do not intend to kill him,”

Yu had only fought one other wild card before, and that was less of an actual fight and more of a speculative discussion Makoto and he had regarding who would win in a fight. It wasn't too long of a discussion as Makoto had simply said “Armageddon, I win.” Aigis was something else, for in addition to the wild card ability she was also entirely made of metal. Luckily for Yu Orgia mode lasts only so long, and Aigis soon overheated.

“You are indeed strong. I give you my approval.”

“Thanks? I guess,” Yu tried to help Aigis up, but again, she was almost entirely made of metal.

”Take good care of my daughter.”

“He's not – nevermind. I will.”

Yukiko burst into laughter again, he and could hear Fuuka sighing in relief, and light-heatedly correcting Aigis that Makoto wasn't her daughter.

–

“Welcome back, how was France?” Yu asked as Makoto and Kotone returned from their trip, tanned and laden with souvenirs.

“France est tres belle, ci marveilleuse, extrodinaire, brilliante, magnifique” Kotone positively glowed, “now I can understand all the things Mitsuru-senpai says!”

“It was nice to see old friends again. Our friend's fashion start up is going pretty well,” Makoto added, “Here, he offered to make everyone some special armor, we can use them next time we fight enemies,” he paused, peering concernedly at Yu's face, “you look tired, did something happen?”

Yu quickly recounted what happened in the TV world, the theft of Labrys, meeting with Mitsuru, and the fight with Aigis.

“Also, Mitsuru-san said she needed to tell you guys something,”

“Oh? I guess we should go and see what's up,” Kotone piqued, “Let's all rest for a bit though, that plane ride was long and you look like you seriously need some Soma. Here's some skin cream I got from Bebe, apparently it'll make you skin glow and nobody could tell you haven't slept in a month. Apparently it's popular with art and design students... And I need to get these cooking wine and spices to Shinji before the heat destroys them all, he'll be so psyched! But don't tell him I told you haha...”

–

“He's...death? I'm not sure I follow.”

“The avatar of death, personification of Nyx, mother of shadows, but now he's just our good buddy Ryoji,” Junpei slung an arm around the beaming young man, “Kirijo labs found a way to bring the human aspect of him back without triggering the Fall! Isn't that awesome?”

Yu has never been more confused in his life.

“I still retain some powers though,” Ryoji said apologetically, “and we'll have to be careful, just because nothing happened yet doesn't mean it ever completely safe. If you guys had to go through what happened the first time again because of me...”

“I told you to stop blaming yourself,” Kotone patted Ryoji sympathetically, “you're our friend, and that's final. If they try to trigger the Fall again, we'll find a way to stop and and keep you here this time too.”

“Plus, we have more people on our side now. Whatever it may be, we have more power this time,”

“Guys...”

“I have a friend, Teddie, he was a shadow who awakened to an ego. He's doing fine now, but maybe... I think it might be a good idea if you two met? I think he could learn a lot from you” Yu wasn't sure if what he said was helpful or not, but he hoped it was. He still wasn't quite sure what was going on, but he wants to help where he can.

“You... are Yu Narukami, am I right?”

Yu nodded. He suddenly felt a sense of dread, but couldn't place why.

“Are you the one currently dating Makoto?” Ryoji asked innocently but Yu's sense of dread deepened. He has a suspicion, but...

“Not now, Ryoji..” Makoto said.

“Then I gotta fight you, it's the agreement,” Ryoji grinned at him. Yu gaped. Junpei jumped up in excitement.

“Ryoji,” Makoto said, louder this time.

“You dated Death?” he asked incredulously. But really at this point it doesn't surprise Yu too much.

“Actually, we both did,” Kotone piqued up, “And really it was less 'dating' than it was 'cohabitation'...I don't know, there really isn't a word for it.”

Luckily, Ryoji was only joking. He turned out to be a very kind person, who became fast friends with Teddie, bonding over girls and existentialism.

–

“Chihiro, Yuko, Fuuka, Yukari, Misturu, Aigis, Ryoji... that's seven... Your last ex can jump me whenever, unless you dated the Reaper, I don't think anything is crazier than dating Literal Death,” Yu said as they walked back to Makoto's apartment.

“I told you it wasn't actually dating, it was... I don't know,” Makoto rummaged his pocket for his keys, “And didn't you date Marie, who was creation goddess of Japan? And Rise is an idol.”

Yu wanted to point out that while that was true, Marie and Rise were the only ones of his exes that was not a normal person, as opposed to Makoto's apparent penchant for dating tech geniuses, famous actresses, billionaire heiresses, anti-shadow suppression weapons and literal Death. But he suppose Makoto did have a point.

“Point taken. I actually feel pretty good about myself. Even if your last ex is the Reaper, I feel like I can fight him right now,” Yu pumped his arms for emphasis.

“Don't jinx yourself,” Makoto sighed.

Just at that moment, as if fate dictated it and came together to make it possible, a huge chunk of the ceiling came crashing down and with it came a feminine sing-songy voice.

“Pardon me for my uninvited intrusion!”

“Yu,” Makoto grabbed his shoulders and stared into his eyes gravelly, Yu gulped.

“This is Elizabeth. You should run.”


End file.
